Stop calling your BS your “problems”

“The best way out is always through.”
― Robert Frost

Problems… what a relative noun. We define our problems in regards to our life experiences. We make out our problems. What you call problem may be something very serious to me, or not, and vice-versa, but it does not mean we should disregard what each other feels. Feelings are real, and your truth is what matters to you and what is able to change your life. We base our life in our reality, isn’t’ that right?

I was thinking about all of this this morning and yes, I agree with with Robert Frost when he says that “The best way out is always through.” We do need to face our problems. Some people face their problems and never get ahead though… Those are the people we hear complain about the same thing over and over again.

Life is simple: if you don’t like something, do something about it! You don’t like your job? Learn to love it or look for another one. You hate how your car drives? Take the bus until you can afford another one. Can’t stand traffic? Choose another route or move somewhere else. Aren’t happy with your weight? Learn to accept who you are or ask for help. Hate loud noises? Buy some ear plugs!!!

We have to take a serious look at our “problems”, because what we call “problems” really shouldn’t be PROBLEMS. They are insignificant things that can be changed by just an action on our part.

About 5 years ago I was living in deep depression. My life was just not the way I wanted it to be. I was fighting to save my marriage and that was destroying me because I hadn’t realized yet that relationships take two people to make it work. My marriage wasn’t the best; I wasn’t nearly treated the way I had always dreamed of by my ex… abuse had become a daily action and I had learned to live with it… I had no more dreams. I was in a dark place, comfortably numb, and did not want to get out of it. — that’s when things start getting really scary: when you find comfort in the dark.

During the holidays that year I went to Brazil to see my family. I remember my parents and brothers telling me they didn’t recognize me because of how I was acting towards them, like an animal. Hearing that made me upset, but I knew I was different. But to me, they didn’t know what “real problems” were; they had no idea what the word “struggle” meant. I was very self-absorbed and SO sunk into my “problems” that people’s happiness’ – including my own family’s – irritated me! And was I doing anything to change my own situation? NO, instead, I was pushing away people who wanted to help me. (One of these days I need to write about depression so that family members and friends of depressed people can feel useful and are able to help their loved ones; as well as help wake up the people who are depressed).

But anyway, my little brother and I (he is about to become 25 years old.. not so little anymore! hehe) went out Christmas shopping together and on our way back to my parents house my brother starts “playing” with me, pretending he couldn’t talk. I started making fun of him until he threw his arms up in the air and started crying… Gulp. That’s when I realized he was having a mini-stroke. He was unable to speak for about 5 minutes and those were the longest 5 minutes of my life.

All of the sudden my problems, my depression, my aches, and pains were GONE. That’s when I realized what problems really were: problems are the things we can’t change; the things we can’t fix or get out of, never the less get through with. So I have to disagree with my earliest statement and say that I disagree with Robert Frost’s quote.

Things that we mistakenly call “problems” are usually the things we can do something about. Your headache, your job, your pain, your depression, relationship, and even your disease CAN BE FIXED (and rather fast when you believe it can and really want it changed).

So for 3 months my family and I prayed for a miracle… I got my faith back and was able to rebuild my relationship with my God. We got the miracle we so much prayed for!! My little brother’s brain did not show any more signs of stroke after the 3rd consecutive cat scan and MRI. This means his brain healed itself and he would not have any future consequence of his stroke later in his life.

The relationship I had with myself changed. My problems were gone. Now what I had in front of me were mere BS’s that I had control of and WANTED it changed. That’s when I was able to do something about them, when I realized that my problems really weren’t problems, but excuses for me to take action and control of my own life. — they were BS’s.

I shared this story with you for you to take a look at your own life and distinguish – for your own sake, as well as the sake of your loved ones – what your problems really are. Pray for your problems to be solved, because only God (or whatever you choose to call your Higher Power) can do something about them. Do that and differentiate them from your BS’s as you remember: you can ALWAYS do something about your BS –> send them back to where they came from!

Have a great day, lovely peeps!

Love and peace,

Gabi Brandao.
Eminent Health – Choose To Be Healthy

October 9th, 2013

(12 useful tools to increase your HAPPINESS)

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